After attending 20 months of weekly presence & breathwork groups, what keeps you engaged & showing up?

Knowing the difference between being asleep and being awake. Knowing all I have to do is show up and I can count on transformation and empowerment.

I experience typical resistance and I find it annoying, agonizing and boring to show up for myself at times. During the sessions I marvel at how often I need to hear the same thing in order to quickly come into alignment with who I am, what I’m doing here and a larger perspective.

Breathwork helps while I’m doing something physically or emotionally scary. I have muscle memory now. As soon as I get triggered I know what I’m dealing with, I know to take a pause, have some containment, how to create a boundary and how to see what I'm bringing to the situation. I practice carrying an image of bringing warming, enlightening sunlight rather than a harsh flashlight to challenging conversations and situations.

What do you like about learning in a group?

I'm more of a one on one person in general. I have wonderful girlfriends and a close family and I’ve worked with therapists and coaches. However, there is a transmission and osmosis that happens in a group that I find incredibly valuable. Time after time someone else will ask a question that will blow my mind with an answer I didn’t even know I needed. It's also very heartwarming and inspiring to be in a growth process with a diverse, powerful and sweet community.

What was your last good idea?

Aside from the pancakes?

Resting more during summer. Getting a cat! and teaching her and our dog how to get along. Attending a Christiane Wolf Mindfulness Workshop. Attending the Collective Trauma Summit.

What are some of your favorite skin and body care rituals?

Skin brushing before bed, I’m always shocked by how good my legs look in the am.

In Fiore Lustra facial massage, then guasha then ice massage.

A couple of minutes on my foot wakers while I look out the window.

Quinton tonics before and after an infrared sauna with In Fiore body balm before and after.

Complexe de Fleur all over my face and body as a first layer.

Frankincense wash in my truck, it is cleansing to my spirit to wash my hands between errands.

What can you share about communal bathing?

Communal bathing came alive for me in the late 80’s early 90’s with frequent journeys to Korean bathhouses in Los Angeles. I could count on experiencing an inner chiropractic adjustment by just being in the presence of a multitude of naked different shapes, ages and sizes. I endured scalding mugwort hot pools, and being scrubbed and polished raw in order to be a part of this world that felt so right to me. Later I traveled to Japan and sought out onsens and dreamt of living a life that had communal bathing as an integral way of being. A culture of silence created a sense of communion that talking could not have accomplished.

What do you feel supported by?

Journalling is another thing that I’ve had terrible resistance to. Dr Beverly says that not journaling is a sign of self abandonment, isn’t it odd that we expect others to show up for us and yet we don’t show up for ourselves?

This year since I’ve been working with Avery (she teaches journaling as part of the collective) I’m proud to say I’ve filled journal after journal and my practice has grown from wobbly to consistent.

I keep a photo of my younger self on the cover of my journal so that I can connect with her and love her.

What’s the last great book you read?

Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

I was captivated by the author’s voice and the fixation and meaning of food in her relationship with her mother. I place a lot of importance on food in my life and in our family. Soulful food is my love language. Also, I’m very particular about the way food is cut.

What is something you want people to know about you?

I don’t have a favorite color. I admit that I like pink despite feeling like I am NOT supposed to and that I AM supposed to.